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Articles on Feminine Power,
​Sexuality, Spirituality & More

Living as Presence

11/30/2019

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Have you ever longed to just be? To just allow life to unfold and open to the infinite intelligence that you are? To know yourself as the stillness that is everywhere in and around you?

For the past two months, I have been going deeper into this exploration and learning how to embody "being" A time to just lie fallow and allow myself to let go of even more of who I thought I was. To discover some of those beliefs you hold about yourself that you thought you let go of, no longer identified with and then discovered they were still running your life.

This process of dying to the old person you have been and then being reborn without attaching yourself to another role, an idea or a belief about yourself takes a true commitment to your process of awakening.

This process began for me in my twenties as a life-long journey of getting to know mySelf. To be the master of my own life and to live as Presence. This desire has been my soul's purpose and learning how to manifest from this place has been my soul's life lesson.

Being creative is my natural gift. I have always found it easy to develop new programs or have inspiring ideas. The actual consistent effort it takes to make something viable has been a challenge as often I would become a human doing and forget to relax and let my being be my guide. To create from heart and mind coherence, feeling the feeling of having what I say I want right now. Mastering my own limitations by being the Presence in each moment. Letting go of my identity and all of its many facets can take a moment, years or a lifetime.

But living as Presence is also creating from being or so Eckhart Tolle says. To cultivate living as the Presence, the stillness that is your essential nature is to offer a healing presence to everyone you connect with. To live as Presence is to be in alignment with consciousness and to allow life to flow through you.

Letting go moment to moment of any need to attach yourself to another role, the idea of who you think you are. To notice, watch and be the witness of whatever comes up for you, then gracefully choose not to follow the thoughts that take you away from focusing on the stillness that you are.

It is to trust life which is to say you go beyond trusting people, places, and things. You feel and believe in your heart that the power that lives through you and is everywhere knows the way and all you need to do is to cultivate relaxed alertness. When you live as Presence you are connected to your body and it's aliveness.

Living as Presence allows you to respond from the intelligence that is your essential nature and to let that be the guide for your life. The mind will continue to chatter but all we need to do is not to follow the thoughts that arise and to return back to the silence that lives in us.

I have discovered for myself that even though I have been on a spiritual path for over 30 years I am still learning how to create from being. I am just beginning to have a quiet mind and to actually be intentionally more present in my life and allow Presence to show up.

Some of the Things You Can Do to
Cultivate Presence

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Meditate for an hour or more until you feel your mind is relaxed and you begin to feel spacious. When this starts to happen you will feel your personal identity, the me, dissolve some which may feel strange at first but it can also feel very freeing. If you are new to meditation then start with 15 minutes twice a day until you can sit for an hour in quiet.
  • During your meditations after you have become spacious or in brain coherence begin to bring your heart into coherence by breathing in high vibrational emotions such as gratitude, appreciation or love. There have been many studies that show how important it is to have brain and heart coherence bring will activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help your sympathetic nervous system to be calmer.
  • It is during this state that you are able to create from Presence because when you are in this state you are connected to Source or pure consciousness. There are many ways you can learn to create from this state of being. I suggest that you check out some videos by Dr. Joe Dispenza or any of his students or if you would like to work with me I would be happy to teach you how to create from being.

Once you have practiced attaining a state of brain and heart coherence during meditation you can practice attaining it when you are going about your day Focus on the silence within and without. When you begin to feel your mind or emotions wander bring your attention back to the silence or your breath. Train yourself to stay in the present moment as much as you can. It will take some time but you will eventually notice you are doing that more and more.

Cultivating Presence requires noticing your thoughts, your reactivity, learning how to accept what is and becoming more present to the ever-present stillness that is you. When your attention is on the everpresent silence you are and that is all around you, you will begin to unwind more and more and begin to relax from the inside out thus emanating this healing vibration to everyone and everything.

If you are interested in learning more about meditation, developing presence and/or desire to have a spiritual guide, counselor and teacher to help you with your spiritual practice and your life please contact me at soulmentorcoach@gmail.com. You can also go to my website for more information on my akashic counseling site. 
http://heartandsoulmentor.wixsite.com/akashiccounseling
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Reclaiming the Word Whore

11/15/2019

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For centuries women have been classified into categories of being either good or bad. Good being virginal, (her hymen intact), a woman that does not sleep around or who is not promiscuous; bad meaning, just the opposite, a “whore”, slut, seductress/seducer, a woman who enjoys sex with many men who steals         other women’s men or who just enjoys sex. 

​Although today in Western society, women have more freedom than ever before, these old attitudes still remain.  In many other countries throughout the world, a woman’s virginity is still considered a prize possession kept only for her husband and if a woman is found to not be virginal when she is of a marriageable age she is ostracized and considered ruined and unclean.  Cliterectomy's are still performed in some Islamic cultures because they believe that women are to sexual by nature and therefore their sexual desire must be curtailed. A girl is pure and innocent if she has never touched herself or been touched by a man.

These attitudes have been accepted by the collective field of humanity, and therefore passed down from generation to generation. Women, in particular, have taken these attitudes to heart as they have been passed down from great-grandmother to grandmother, to mother and daughter.  entrenched within the collective psyche of all women we believe that we are still somehow still responsible for the ills of the world because we disobeyed God and ate from the Tree of  Knowledge.

These ideas have become so prevalent and accepted as the norm that one of the worst things you can call another girl or woman is a “whore”, this word being an all-inclusive “bad” girl who sleeps around indiscriminately and who enjoys sex.As a result of this women have felt split between the two. Am I a good girl or bad girl, Madonna or whore these being the only two choices we have had.  Although today, we have to some degree shifted some of these old ways of thinking about women’s sexuality, you can still see the effects of these entrenched beliefs played out in our media and on advertising, music, and videos.  Especially hurt are young girls who are still being told that their primary value is to be beautiful and sexy at any age. 
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The separation into priestess and prostitute, or sacred and profane polarities, occurred for western civilization when the early fathers of Christianity claimed power by abolishing goddess worship and other nature-based pagan religions. In actuality, the bipartite woman, both whore, and Madonna was a construct of the early Papal Councils around 600 AD.

This separation was designed to diminish the power of the Goddess and her representatives, the priestesses of Her temples. Priestesses were eventually regulated to perform only certain tasks by the priests who were now given a full range of power.
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The Origin of the Word Whore If we explore the etymology of the words "whore" or "harlot," we find that the split between "priestess" and "prostitute" is a relatively recent one. In her book When God Was A Woman, Merlin Stone informs us that the Hebrew word zonah means both prostitute and prophetess. Barbara Walker, in her Dictionary of Woman's Myths and Secrets, points out that the Hebrew word hor means a cave, pit, or dark hole. The Spanish word for whore, puta, derives from the Latin term for a well, but the Latin term for a grave, literally "a hole in the earth," is puticuli, meaning womb of rebirth. These terms for whore were not derogatory.

"The Latin term had its roots in the Vedic, an early Sanskrit language, wherein the word puta is defined as pure and holy. The cave, the pit, the hole, and the bottomless black lake were metaphors for the Great Goddess, She who is unnameable, that darkness primordial from which all life (light) is born. She is the Everything and The Nothing -- Hole-y, Holy, Wholly. The Sacred Whore at work was, in fact, the manifestation the Great Goddess. Today these ideas are not completely lost. "

"The Hebrew folk dance named the hora, a tradition at Jewish weddings is named after the circle dances of the sacred harlots. Such holy harlots were often "brides of God" similar to modern nuns, the "brides of Christ." The holy harlots were set apart to give birth to the Sons of God. In other words, these women had the job of changing human-animal into human-god." - Diana Rose Heartwoman
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It is time for women everywhere to reclaim their Herstory and to take back the original meaning of this word. The change must come from women first in order to effect a change in how the word is used. Just like the word cunt was reclaimed, women have the power, you have the power to reclaim the holy sacredness of your sexuality and your sexual power. By taking back the word Whore, and restoring it to its original meaning not only will you and I benefit but so will your daughters and all women everywhere.
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The Etomology of the Words Prostitute and Whore

10/8/2019

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I have always found that the origin of a word reveals so much about a culture or the times of which it once lived. The words prostitute and whore in our culture today, as mentioned in Part I, are derogatory and have no relation to their origin.

 The adjective “sacred” is often used to describe something worthy of religious veneration, something declared or made holy.  Prophetic texts are called sacred, as are a variety of rituals and icons. 

The word prostitute has its origin in the Latin word prostituere which means to stand in for another.  This is one of the definitions and for my purposes here it states that a prostitute is someone who stands in for another, such as a wife or girlfriend, someone who uses the act of lovemaking to gain a deeper connection with the Divine, God/Goddess, and to attain enlightenment.

​The sacred prostitute stood in on behalf of the Goddess.  She was there to allow her body to be used as a sacred vessel of divine sexual energy and love in order to reconnect her partner with the Divine Feminine within himself.
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Queen Ishtar, also known as the Goddess Har, was the mother of the Harlots. These Harlots were not prostitutes as we know them today, but priestesses, sorceresses, prophets, and healers. The Hebrew word Zonah means both prostitute and prophet. The Hora, a dance done at Jewish weddings is said to have its origins in the circle dances that the holy harlots did as brides of God. In Egypt before clocks were actually invented, it is said that the holy whores or  the horae would come out and dance the hours of the day.
 
Sacred Whores were sometimes known as the “Holy Virgins” of Goddesses such as Ishtar, Asherah, or Aphrodite. The famous Vestal Virgins art thought to have practiced secret sex-magic rites in honor of the Vesta the Roman Goddess of hearth and home.
  
The word virgin did not mean  that the hymen was intact but rather that the woman was an unmarried woman who claimed ownership of herself. Again, you can see how the meaning of words are changed depending upon the culture in which they are being used. 
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“In Barbara Walker’s Dictionary of Woman’s Myths and Secrets, the Hebrew word hor means a cave, pit, or dark hole.  The Spanish word for whore is puta, derived from the Latin term for a well and pit. But the Latin term, for grave (a hole in the Earth) was puticuli, meaning womb of rebirth…"
"The Latin had its root in the Vedic wherein Puta is defined as pure and holy. The cave, the hole the bottomless black lake were metaphors synonymous with the Great Goddess—She who is unnamable, that darkness primordial from which all life (light) is born.” ~ Musings on the Sacred Whore by Diana Rose Heartwoman
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 Over time the meanings of these words changed to reflect the culture that they were being used in and to reflect its views of women.  Once the Goddess cultures were overtaken by the hordes of nomadic tribes of the Middle East that worshipped a warring God and the doctrine of the Christian Patriarchs was established as law, the world that once was, was turned upside down and on its head.


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The Legacy of the Sacred Prostitute Part II

9/8/2019

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“We cannot become the means for the resanctification
of society unless we are willing to become the priestesses
once more who serve the divine not in theory and empty practice,
 but from our very nature.” Deena Metzger
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Over time, tribal life turned into larger communities where the Temple was the center of life.  All religious ceremonies, yearly celebrations and dedications to the Goddess as well as life transitions such as births and death were presided over by the priestesses of the Temple. 
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 In many cultures young girls came to the temple for education and many stayed to serve as a priestess. Often the youngest female of a family was given to the Temple to serve as a priestess as was the custom. These young women were trained in many of the healing arts as well as developing many of their spiritual gifts. They were taught to read and write and given a comprehensive education.

Once they reached puberty and were initiated into their womanhood they were often able to decide on a specialty to focus on such as; herbology and being a healer, working with younger initiates and being a teacher, dancing or playing music or being an artist, working with the sciences, becoming an oracle or becoming a sexual healer to name a few.

A priestess who wanted to specialize in sexual healing began their training in the Tantric arts of love and in being able to attain very high states of consciousness to literally let go of her own identity and allow herself to be used by the energy of the Great Goddess. They also used their healing arts and spiritual gifts as needed. Some of the temples had names for these sexual healers such as  The Priestess of the Flame and Keepers of the Flame.

When a Holy Whore or Sacred Temple Prostitute made love with a man, the heart and genitals were brought into alignment, especially if a warrior was returning from war and needed a place where he could reconnect again with his feminine nature. Actual sexual intercourse was not always what was called for. A Sacred Prostitute stood in for the Goddess in bringing a man back to wholeness and this could be done in a variety of ways.
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It has been said that a man would go to the Temple and receive sacred sexual communion or a healing with a Sacred Prostitute  and then when he was ready, he would return to his family restored and balanced within himself.   The act of lovemaking was literally an act of the divine, it was considered sacred and thus the body of a woman was considered sacred.
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The Legacy of the Sacred Prostitute Part 1

7/5/2019

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​It has always been of interest to me to understand the Herstory of the women who were called Sacred Prostitutes. Who were these women, where did they come from and what happened to the cultures that they were revered and honored in? 

That is why I have decided to write a series of three articles on the Sacred Prostitute and the Holy Whore so that we might discover what happened to cause their story to go untold and their gifts to us forgotten. The time for us a women to reclaim these forgotten aspects of ourselves is now and I invite you to do so if  you choose.

When God Was a Woman 

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Imagine a time when God was a woman 15,000 – 5,000 BCE,  and women were considered holy and their bodies sacred. These cultures were connected to the Earth and called her the Great Goddess and were primarily peace loving and depended upon the land to survive.
Most of these cultures during this time period were matrilineal that means that the mother passed on her wealth to the daughter.

Women’s roles often combined motherhood, gathering food, seeds, nuts and berries, herbs for healing and were the ones who sustained the community and provided its’ foundation and center.  They are often thought of as partnership societies because men and women’s roles had equal importance and neither sex overpowered the other.
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Women were seen as the mediators between the Goddess and the tribe. A woman could access the power of the Goddess and it was thought that she could identify more easily with Her.

Women were considered a mystery and most like Her because they could give birth to new life and bleed without dying.  They seemed to have magical abilities and their womb, and their bodies were considered sacred. They were considered nearer the Divine and the act of sexual intercourse with a woman was the closest thing a man could do to be with the Divine.
 

Inanna's Daughters

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 The first women sexual healers were called Inanna’s Daughters of Heaven. They were also called nu gig, the pure and spotless and qadishtu, holy women. They were the handmaidens of Inanna and they followed Lilith who was thought of as the original archetype of woman.

"Lilith is considered an original archetype as the “natural woman” who solidified tribal cohesion and unity through sexual bonding and appeasement." – Lilith Keepers of the Flame
 
  They understood the healing power of their sexual energy and the right use of sex. They would gather the male members of the tribal community and conduct sacred rituals that would teach them how to use their sexual energy correctly. They did this by offering a connection to the divine through their bodies and sexual intercourse. Sexuality with a woman evoked within a man the sacred and opened his heart to divine love.

It was thought that a man needed a woman in order to give birth to the potential Goddess/Divine Feminine within himself. This was called apotheosis and because of this all women had a high status within their tribe/community.

These women were also called the Keepers of the Flame for the understood that within the womb of woman the original blueprint of humanity.  They knew that within them lived the sacred flame of the divine self and they kept this knowledge sacred. They were also the fire keepers of their tribes and so kept alive the sacred magic of light and the warmth of the heart and to this day we still use the symbol of the Red Light in the Catholic Church, in airplanes and in the Red Light districts.
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Has the Beauty Myth Gone to Far?

6/15/2019

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I recently revisited the growing fad of what is commonly called, labiaplasty as I did an article on some years ago. I wanted to see where things are today and because I also teach about sexuality to women and girls.

Since 2016 there has been a 39% increase in labiaplasty surgeries. which can roughly be estimated at more than 12,000 women. This fact still astonishes me and saddens me at the same time. Recent research done by Refinery 29 who took a poll of 3,670 women stated that 48% of them were concerned about the way their vulvas looked.

 “A third (32%) of women told us they had been made to feel that theirs were not "normal", and when we gave them the chance to expand on this, their accounts made for a disheartening read. Porn was cited time and again, with 72% of women who compare their vagina or vulva to others' referring to it. One woman described her labia as "larger" than she has seen depicted by the industry, another said hers "doesn’t look like what [she sees] in porn," while another summed up the problem perfectly: porn, she said, depicts "vaginas that all look basically the same". (Refinery 29)

As a writer and teacher about women's sexuality, and founder of a new program for teen girls, Sasse Girls, (Sexually Aware, Smart and Savvy Girls), I have to do my research and keep up with the times. With more and more young girls and boys being exposed to porn and learning about sex and body image from this medium, the damage to girls self-esteem and the demands of physical perfection that are projected on to them is on the rise.

The lack of adequate sex education in most states including many schools in California is appalling, and kids are turning to what is available to them to learn from about sex. The fact that the porn industry has taken over this job by default is a fact and is something that could be changed. There are much better ways to learn about sexual intimacy and all that it encompasses.

"Porn also feeds body-image woes indirectly via partners' viewing habits. Time and again, research has flagged its pernicious effect on heterosexual male viewers – links have been drawn between viewing porn and issues ranging from erectile dysfunction and unprotected sex to potentially even the shrinking of the male brain – and judging from our survey, women’s self-perception is a major piece of collateral damage. Men's views of the female body appear to have been severely skewed by porn, with many respondents telling us they’d been made to feel their vulva or vagina was "abnormal" by an ex-partner." ~ Refinery 29.

What Can You Do?

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  • One of the primary solutions to this situation is to educate women and girls about their sexuality and how to make healthy choices about it. If you have a daughter teach her her body is beautiful and so is her vulva.
  • Have more women to teach the younger generations about the sacredness of their bodies and how beautiful they are just as they are and to model positive self-image and self-esteem as well as teaching what it means to be a sexually empowered woman.
  • Become more educated yourself about your own body and sexuality and learn to love your own yoni if you don't.
  • Have more conversations about these things with other women and men. Invite your friends over and talk about what concerns you have and then share the good news that your yoni is perfect just as she is.
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The Lost Art of Seduction

4/29/2019

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"What makes a woman her most alluring? Is it her brains, beauty, wit, charm or sex appeal? What are the elements that create feminine sexual empowerment?"
Some might say that for a woman to be sexually empowered she must be experienced. Others might say she must know how to be charming and have great sexual charisma, but true female sexual empowerment includes all of this and more.
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The truth is that what makes a woman truly powerful and what makes her sexually empowered are not as different as you may think.  One of the primary keys to being a powerful woman is learning how to use her natural goddess given gifts and talents. Those things that make you the funniest, smartest or wittiest, and to learn how to cultivate these talents and attributes whether they be beauty, wit, brains, sex appeal or all of the above.

Betsey Prileau author of the book, Seductress, Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love, tells us that the archetype of the seductress has been given a bad rap. "She has been villainized as the terrible goddess {who} rules over desire and seduction, a bloodthirsty ball breaker like Salome and Circe, and the antithesis of virtuous femininity."

Throughout history, there have been women who have indeed taken their God/dess talents and ravished the world in which they lived. Without these sex goddesses, we would not have known what true female sexual empowerment looked like, felt like or acted like.

What made these women different from the rest of the women of their time? Many lived during eras where women had no choices of any kind, no education or way to earn a living other than what was dictated to her by the male politics of the time.

Why were these women unafraid to step out of the mold and dare to be true to themselves? By understanding this we can learn how we can do the same today. Dressing sexy or having a lot of sexual experience doesn't give you true sexual empowerment although it may give you self-confidence.

It is what our current western culture would like us to believe but it falls short in describing and demonstrating what authentic feminine sexual empowerment is. I say sexual, because, women are sexual by design. We can't help but be sexual or be seen in relation to sex because of our biology. All women have a womb, breasts and have for thousands of years during the reign of the Great Goddess, been seen as the Creatress of all life. In the ancient religions of the Goddess men and women have envisioned goddesses of sexuality and worshipped them. The everpresent symbol of that being the yoni or triangle.

Women today need a new roadmap to learn how to become more. This new roadmap can be found through the study of seductresses both old and new as well as in specifically designed programs such as 
the ones on this site.
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Women today have the advantage that many of these women did not have. Today we have permission to explore our sexuality, to dress with a flare that expresses our own sense of style, we are independent, self-supporting and have more sexual experience than our predecessors were ever allowed. Learning how to embody and integrate a few more of the essential arts of seduction is not such a far stretch if it will round out what you already know and assist you in stepping more fully into our authentic feminine sexual power.
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"The Sirens of old knew that to be a woman who understood the art of seduction you had to first be true to your own self.  They were brave, courageous and weren't afraid to break the rules." ~ Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love"

10 ThingsYou Can Do To  Embrace the Art of Seduction
  • Love and appreciate who you are and your unique qualities. When you approve of yourself and feel comfortable with yourself others find that very appealing and it can act like catnip.
  • Nothing is more attractive than a lust for life. Your life force is a potent perfume so let your own shakti fire burn.
  • Honor your body and your sex. Be sexually autonomous and enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy others.
  • If you love sex, take the time to learn the sacred sensual arts, tweak your repertoire and try on new things. Nothing is sexier than a self-confident woman.
  • Don't be afraid to update, change or just create a new look for yourself on a regular basis. Adornment has always been part of the allure. Change is a good thing and once you have a new look don't be afraid to show it off.
  • Creating a romantic, exciting, sacred or another type of environment is an art so do take the time to learn it if you don't know how already. 
  • Cultivate the art of being a great listener. Study compassionate communication. Men and people in general just want to be heard.
  • Learn the art of flirting. There are many ways to engage in a flirtatious encounter. Find out what ways you feel most comfortable with and practice them.
  • Learn how to appreciate the man or woman you are with. When in doubt appreciate, appreciate, appreciate.
  • Settle for nothing and demand that life gives you the best in relationships, love, and life. 
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Embodying the Goddess of Love in You

3/2/2019

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Which aspect of the Goddess of Love and Sexuality do you most identify with?

Is it Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty, and sensuality?  Or perhaps Shakti, the Primal Goddess of creation, the life force? Or do you see yourself more as a  Sacred Courtesan or a Sexual Healer?

​The Goddess of love and sexuality has many names and aspects. She represents a side of the Divine Feminine that depicts women’s sensual and sexual nature as well as their abilities to heal and transmute sexual energy. These goddess archetypes have often been seen from a very narrow point of view based on the time that they were created in.

The mythology of any culture always reflects the values of that culture and so do the pantheon of gods and goddesses that are created. What was once said about Aphrodite in Greek society is not necessarily what she represents for modern women today. Archetypes must change and reflect the current the age that they live in.

An archetype is a universally understood symbol, term, statement, or pattern of behavior, a prototype upon which others are copied, patterned, or emulated. 

Four Archetypes of the Goddesses of Love and Sexuality
I have delineated three basic archetypes of the Goddesses of Love and Sexuality: the Goddess of Beauty and Sensuality, the Primal Goddess, and the  Sacred Courtesan or Sexual Healer. Of course, each of these archetypes has many different names, some of which are, for the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite, Venus, Innana and Oshun; Lilith, Shakti, Pele and Brigit for the Primal Goddess;  Ishtar and Astarte for the Sacred Prostitute/Courtesan and Sexual Healers.

Embracing the Goddess of Love and Sexuality in You
In our modern world how women are seen is still greatly influenced by these images of the feminine. Although most women do not know this, they too have allowed themselves to be seen and to see themselves through the lens of one or more of these archetypes. We fear, hide, are ashamed, or exploit our sexual power. Very few women fully use and embody their authentic feminine power, standing in their feminine strength, love, beauty, intelligence, grace, and sexuality. When we do, we take the apology out of being a woman.

What I have come to realize is that women need to embrace all of these aspects of themselves if they truly wish to feel whole, integrated and stand in their full authentic feminine power. 

This includes learning how to use their sexual power not to survive but to thrive. To change the current paradigm which is thousands of years old and by which we still live. Understanding how to be and use this magnificent power is key if we wish to create a world where women are safe to be women and where we can live in partnership with men

How You Can Do This?
The first thing is to begin to understand who these images of the feminine are to you personally is to take the time to find out who you most identify with.
Ask yourself these questions:
  • Which aspects do I fear or feel comfortable with?
  • Who draws me in and fascinates me?
  • Which aspect do I long to know better?
  •  How am I currently showing up in the world regarding my sexual power and expression?

Through getting to know the various archetypes of the goddess which represent feminine sexuality and love you can begin to learn more about yourself and our sexual expression. We can also begin to embody more of the qualities we wish to express. Through getting to know those aspects you wish to embrace, you will have a better understanding of your own nature.

By practicing ritual, creating an altar and invoking the energy of that aspect to be with you, you will begin to own more of the wholeness of your feminine nature, as a sexually powerful woman.

We can also begin to explore what new archetypes of the goddess of love and sexuality we wish to create for a new world that is no longer afraid of the feminine, but rather honors, reveres and celebrates her power.

If you are ready to explore more of these aspectsn yurself please join us in the What's Your Sexy playshop on April 27th. 





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How to Live With More Authenticity

1/26/2019

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“To be authentic, we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect -- and vulnerable. We have to believe that we are fundamentally worthy of love and acceptance, just as we are. I’ve learned that there is no better way to invite more grace, gratitude and joy into our lives than by mindfully practicing authenticity.”— Brené Brown
Your authentic self
 Authentic is defined in the dictionary as:“not false or copied; genuine; real.” “representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified.”

​Being authentic is not always easy because we often feel confused by all the mixed messages that are projected onto us by our families, friends, our profession, school, and popular culture. 

Sometimes it is hard to distinguish what we want from what we are told we should want, or how we should dress, look, especially for women in this culture, where we are constantly bombarded by the media from a very early age .  We are told that if we only buy this product or dress a certain way, we will be more popular or sexier or happier …We are never told that it is ok to just be ourselves.

The message is that being yourself is not enough and you and I know  that the bottom line is that dissatisfaction sells hopes and dreams and creates desire to be different from who you are.  The primary goal of all of these messages is to make money by the companies that are trying to convince you and me that we need to be something other than our authentic self.
 
So then how do you begin to know how to become an authentic person? Becoming authentic is an inside job that everyone must do to learn for themselves who they are and what they stand for. 
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What You Can Do to Cultivate Authenticity
  • One of the first things is to discover what your core values are and to go inside yourself and to sit with the question, “What really matters to me?”  From there you might discover that you are someone who values kindness, or being honest, or having integrity etc. 
  • Your core values are the things that matter most to you that are your Bottom Line, and the things you will never compromise.  They actually help you to build character, to give you inner strength to become the person that you have always wanted to be and to know yourself better. They are like the rudder in a ship because they guide you in your life.  
  •  Once you know what you stand for it becomes much easier to be able to begin to be authentic and discover how you wish to show up in the world. When you begin to align yourself with your core values, then everything else that you do will be an expression of them... how you look, speak and think will in some way reflect your core values. You will begin to “walk your talk.”​
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  • ​Walking your talk is not always an easy thing to do and living your core values may prove to be challenging at times, but the more you do it ​the easier and stronger you will become. 

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  • Authenticity is something you cultivate and practice every second of every day. It is something that requires great presence and vigilance from you.  You have to become your own coach that lovingly will help you to get back in alignment when you stray.
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  •  When you have begun to live from your core values and are more in alignment with them out in the world, you will then be able to also share who you are more authentically with others. This also means you will need to be more vulnerable and open others.  Part of being authentic is learning how to be vulnerable with others. 
  • I have found out that the more I am willing to deeply share my truth the more powerful I am. That may sound contradictory but it actually isn’t. When you can share and own your true feelings with someone you will be the one who opens the door for them to share their truth as well. You are showing them a way to be real with your communication and in that there is power.
  • An authentic person is not afraid to take a risk and expose their deepest feelings to another. From a spiritual perspective, I have found that my core values are also a reflection of my spiritual values and are often one and the same. 
  • ​ Your spiritual values are something that you practice daily  and do your best to live in alignment with them. If your spiritual values are your core values then your life becomes much easier to navigate since you are more integrated.

I choose to live my values and to be as authentic as I can at home, at work, at play and with all of my communications as much possible and you can too. Remember this is a continuous learning process and we are never really done. We are here to grow into more aware, awake and conscious versions of ourselves and one of the first steps of this journey is to learn how to be more authentic.
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Taking the Apology Out of Being a Woman

12/25/2018

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      Women have been apologizing for thousands of years for having a vagina, or vulva, for being sexual, for being powerful, clever, smart, creative, for being a woman with a body that is sexual by nature. It is this apology that is actually part of our collective consciousness and in every woman and man whether they are aware of it or not.
     Today in our society it may look like women have made huge strides in the world of men. This is true in so far as a few legal wins, being able to vote, and sexual freedoms. But, the culture in which we all live in, the collective field, still holds the belief that it was a woman that caused the downfall of man.
        Lilith has never been forgiven for holding her own and refusing to lay beneath Adam and Eve has never been forgiven for the sin of being a woman who took a bite out of the apple off of the Tree of Knowledge.  The message is loud and clear in advertising, movies, music and in many of the sacred religious texts all over the world. Women are too powerful and must pay and pay dearly for that one mistake. 
     The sexualization of women and the repression and control of our sexual power was the answer, and is big business. The kidnapping of thousands of young girls into sexual slavery as well as the sex industry whose predominant workers are women has become a multi-billion dollar industry. Kathleen Barry calls this the 'prostitution of sexuality'. The fact that women themselves exploit their own bodies for money and are not aware that by doing so they are supporting the very system that they say they are free from is in itself proof of the depth of this belief and there seems to be no end in sight. 

In the Beginning

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  The story of Adam and Eve has been interpreted differently by many historians and theologians. It was an orignal Sumerain myth about the Great Goddeses that the Christian Patriarchs fundamentally changed so that the concept of the Great Mother, the Goddess, was seen as less than God or man. Woman was created to be less than man, from his rib, subservient to him
      All myths reflect the times in which they were created and it was at this juncture in time that man had most recently discovered his role in procreation. Patriarchy and the role of men became more elevated and the shift from a Mother Goddess and Creatrix of life to Father God and the Creator became predominant.
    The eventual discovery that a woman needed a man's sperm to fertilize her eggs gave the early Christian patriarchs just the tool they need to turn the Goddess on her head. The most prevalent belief of the day soon became that it was man who created life and woman who incubated it thus reducing woman's role from Creatrix to host.
     This belief over time was reflected in every myth, text, and religious scripture throughout most of the world. Women were in essence demoted from their role as "Earth Mother, the Great Goddess" to a subservient role to man.
        The goddess was now a woman who, because of her sexuality and her power over men was not to be trusted. The body, in general, became evil and dirty, but women's bodies were specifically evil and so was woman’s sexual power and so women were forever condemned to apologize for being a woman.

Reclaiming Your Innocence

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      Today we have a choice whether to continue to believe in this myth. By reclaiming your innocence as a sex, we can each begin to stop apologizing for having a female body and for being sexy and sexual. We can stop hiding our bodies behind layers of fat. We can stop internalizing the messages that music and the media are telling us. We can stop rejecting our bodies the way they are and see our bodies only as something to please men, to fulfill their fantasies of what they think is sexy. 
     We can instead begin to value whom we are rather than just for how we look, to begin to appreciate our totality as a human being. We can learn to see ourselves more holistically and to love our bodies whatever shape they are in. We can take pride in being born a woman with a natural sexual allure and a healthy sexual appetite.
    So, I invite you as a representative of womankind and of humankind to step forward and reclaim your sexual innocence, your body's innocence and all of womankind's innocence.



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