YONI SPEAK
Articles on Feminine Power,
Sexuality, Spirituality & More
Sexuality, Spirituality & More
 Recently, I revisited Peggy Ornstein's insightful book, "Girls and Sex," penned in 2016. It was a journey to reconnect with her research and insights into various aspects of girls' experiences and perspectives on sexuality, relationships, and identity. I wanted to see if there had been any shifts since the book's publication and, if so, what they were. Did girls still navigate similar challenges in the realms of sex, dating, and the infamous hook-up culture? As someone deeply entrenched in teaching women's sexuality and serving as a sex educator for years, I found some of the anecdotes from young women disheartening. Their accounts of navigating the patriarchal landscapes of college life, particularly within dorms, sororities, or frat houses, shed light on persistent issues. Questions lingered: Was the outdated excuse of "boys will be boys" still prevalent, especially within fraternities? Did girls still feel pressured to conform, to be sexually active, to be seen as fun, despite the potential drawbacks of the hook-up scene? Reflecting on the narratives shared, I couldn't help but wonder about the underlying implications of the hook-up culture. Did the need for alcohol to facilitate casual encounters suggest a deeper issue with self-perception? It appeared that despite societal progress, the hook-up scene remained skewed in favor of male desires, often overlooking female satisfaction and emotional needs. While some women may find temporary liberation or exploration in casual encounters, it often comes at a cost. Many remain unaware of their sexual preferences or feel too embarrassed to voice their desires. For them, losing their virginity or engaging in non-committal encounters becomes more about fitting in than finding fulfillment. Listening to contemporary accounts, it's apparent that satisfaction with hook-up dynamics remains elusive for many women. The casual nature of these encounters often precludes emotional intimacy, leaving participants unfulfilled and disconnected. There's a prevailing sentiment that getting too close to a hook-up partner is discouraged, as it blurs the lines into traditional dating, which itself seems to be viewed as antiquated or undesirable.  Drawing from personal experiences, I acknowledge the allure of casual encounters as a means of exploration, but also recognize their limitations. Like many, I traversed my twenties experimenting with casual hook-ups, yet found true sexual empowerment only through self-discovery and leaving behind the hook-up scene. Taking charge of my pleasure became paramount, as I realized that relying solely on a partner for satisfaction was unsustainable. Regrettably, it seems that despite the passage of time, the dynamics of the hook-up culture remain largely unchanged. Women, especially those inexperienced in sexual matters, continue to encounter one-sided encounters where their needs are often sidelined. It's disheartening to realize that decades later, many young women still grapple with similar challenges and frustrations. In contrast, dating emerges as a platform for genuine connection and exploration. It offers the opportunity to engage with others on a deeper level, fostering communication and understanding. For those seeking meaningful relationships, dating serves as a vital tool for gauging compatibility and shared goals. Ultimately, the question persists: Does the prevalent hook-up culture truly empower women, or does it ensnare them in the illusion of liberation? While there may be fleeting benefits, the broader impact on women's sexual autonomy and fulfillment warrants critical examination. We need to talk openly respect each other, and build real connections to improve things. By focusing on understanding ourselves, feeling strong, and ensuring we're happy, We can make relationships more fulfilling for everyone. It's time to move past just seeking quick thrills and start valuing deep connections and real pleasure in our relationships. Moving forward, fostering a culture that values open communication, mutual respect, and genuine emotional connection is paramount to reshaping perceptions and practices surrounding sexuality and relationships. Encouraging self-exploration, empowerment, and prioritizing individual fulfillment can pave the way for more fulfilling, enriching experiences for all individuals, transcending the limitations of a culture fixated on fleeting pleasures and superficial connections.
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 Women's sexual power has been under fire for thousands of years and the feminine soul dismembered. This has happened not only to us individually, but to us collectively. The soul of the feminine is both personal and part of the collective since what we feel about the feminine personally is what makes up the collective field. Once these ideas of the feminine are accepted by the people they become the norm. and once the male-dominator culture was in place the former world based on feminine values was replaced by the patriarchy. How Did This Happen? About 3,000 thousand years ago there was a shift in power that took place from a culture that was Mother Goddess based to one that was becoming based on a Father God. Essentially, when the male-dominator culture and the patriarchy began to overtake the world and the Judeo-Christian patriarchs purposefully crafted a new creation story. The role of women was rewritten to show that all women were subservient to men who were superior beings because they created life. The original Goddess-based creation story was one where Lilith the First Woman was partners with Adam and they were both created from the Earth. Lilith was also considered the Mother of Creation as all living beings are born of woman. It was changed to the story we have now of Lilith being cast out of Eden and becoming a demoness, Eve being born of Adam's rib and becoming his helpmate but soon to be blamed for the downfall of all humanity. The men of that time wanted power over the people. The best way to get this power was to change the stories and the mythology of the culture that they wished to control. So these men gave power to a male God, who could create life, was all-powerful, and to be feared. Gradually over time, maybe hundreds of years after each generation was born, the stories of the mother goddess and how she created life and was the source of life, were changed to fit this agenda and accepted by the people. These powerful men wanted to make sure that the Goddess no longer stood as the primary giver of all life, and that she no longer could influence the people. Women who were the physical representation of the Goddess had to also have their power and rights limited and later taken away as well. This was the beginning of the dismemberment of the collective feminine soul which is still happening even today. The feminine soul has been purposefully chipped away at by powerful men of each era, whether for political gain, or religious or economic control. The one thing that all of these men feared and many men still fear is a woman's authentic feminine power, her sexual power. Women's sexual charisma and power were just "too hot to handle". Before this era of male domination the Goddess and women were held in high esteem and men and women worked together as partners. Women's sexual power was natural and honored.  What is Authentic Feminine Power?
When I speak of a woman's authentic feminine power I am speaking about your sexual power. Women by nature of their biology have a power that men can never have. That power is to create life as well as their natural sexual charisma. Beyond these two basic issues, a woman's full sexual power includes not only the power of her sex, but the power of her intellect, her love, her courage, her wrath, her wildness, and her sovereignty. And so, to control women and limit their influence over men who could easily be distracted, a culture of misogyny and rape was created to last thousands of years. Our authentic feminine power also lies in our ability to know our bodies as sacred and holy. To reclaim our body as our own to do with as we choose, when we choose. Our power lies in knowing that we are sovereign a whole unto ourselves, and in our ability to take back our role as the sexual iniaitress. This was always the role of women to initiate men into the sacred sensual arts of love. Women were always the teachers of the arts of love because they understood the power of their shakti and sexual energy. But with the demise of the Mother Goddess as the Creatress of life, women no longer had power over their own sexuality. Reclaiming our feminine soul also means that we reclaim the story of Eve and the blame put upon all women for the downfall of humanity. Reclaiming our innocence must start with each individual. Each woman must decide for herself that she is innocent, that her body is the temple of the Goddess, and that her sex is divine. Her nature is not to serve man but to partner with him to co-create a world where women are seen once again as the emissaries of the divine feminine and men of the divine masculine. When you reclaim the innocence of your body, the sacredness of your sex, and your sovereignty, you restore the feminine back to its original state of purity and potency. You begin to reconnect with your essential feminine power and rewrite the story of Eve for all women.  I have delineated five basic aspects of the goddesses of love and sexuality. They are love and beauty, or the Goddess of Love, Sensuality and Beauty, the instinctual feminine, or the Primal Goddess, the Sexual Initiatress who encompasses both the sexual healer and sacred Courtesan. These aspects represent our sexual expression in a variety of roles. In our modern world, women are still greatly influenced by the images of women in the media that they see. We only see one or two aspects that are often very limited in how they portray women and women's sexual empowerment. Women often fear, hide, are ashamed, or exploit their sexual power. Even if they don't know that they are doing so. Very few women fully understand what their authentic feminine power is and how to use it. We don't know how to embody it. When images of the feminine are distorted to fit a particular cultural standard that has been defined by patriarchal standards of femininity, we forget what it feels like to be whole, sexually empowered and integrated with all aspects of our sexual expression. We forget how to stand strong, feel beautiful, confident, safe in our bodies and be in control of our sexual energy. What I have come to realize is that all women have all of these aspects of the goddess of love within them, and we need to integrate all of them; to learn how to be comfortable with each aspect so that we can feel whole, sovereign, and free to express all of our sexual roles and yet not be defined by them. . Embracing the Goddesses of Love in You The first thing is to begin to understand who these images of the feminine are to you personally is to take the time to find out who you most identify with. Ask yourself these questions:
For the most part, women have been forced to use their sexuality to survive. We see throughout history that women’s sexual power has been feared, her body a symbol of life and the power to create was made to seem evil, something that tempted men away from the divine. Through getting to know the various archetypes of the goddess which represent feminine sexuality and love we can begin to learn more about ourselves and our sexual expression. We can also begin to embody more of the qualities we wish to express. If you would like to become more comfortable with and integrate all of aspects of your sexual expression via these archetypes of the Goddess of Love please get my Living Goddess Guide, Redefining Your Erotic Sense of Self. You will not only recieve my guide but also my personal workbook of What's Your Sexy, Which Goddess of Love Are You. Click Below for Your Guide.
 For thousands of years, men have been defining what it means to be a woman. Men have dictated what it means to be a sexy woman and a feminine woman. Men told women what they wanted women to be and then over time put their ideas into the collective field. Now, this started many thousands of years ago during the first dawning of bronze and into the Iron Age.
It was during those times that the Great Mother Goddess began to lose her power over the people and the Hebrew, and the Christian patriarchs of the day rewrote herstory to suit their new version of a masculine God a god of war, birth, death, and rebirth. The purpose behind all of this was to gain control and power over the people. If you take away the power of creation, our sexual power, and their sovereign right to choose for themselves you control people much more easily. The secret agenda was always to diminish the power of the feminine and to empower men with toxic masculinity. The power of the feminine which is essentially the power of our life force, our sexuality, and our ability to create was so threatening that over thousands of years, new stories about male power and about the curse of being a woman were embedded in the minds and hearts of all people throughout our Western and Eastern cultures. Women were the embodiment of temptation to men their passions uncontrollable and their emotions too wild. A woman's body was a reminder to men of her sexual potency which threatened the power of the Church. The religious dogma that was taught via the distorted truth about the feminine was literally woven into the very fabric of life until it was accepted as the norm. The true power of a woman and the secret that has been kept from all of humanity but especially from women has been the power of our sexuality and the power of our body. Women have been taught by men through media of all types, educational systems and religious teachings that to be sexually powerful, aware, and sovereign was wrong. Women were taught to fear this power within themselves and to deny it in other women who dared to show that they embodied these qualities. For a woman to enjoy sex especially if you were from a good middle-class or upper-class family was not embodying the qualities of a lady. Now you might think that women today are different. You might even feel that you haven't been at the effect of these beliefs so much, but I am here to tell you that all women throughout most of the world have been affected by these doctrines. The collective field we live in today is filled with these beliefs and even though there have been legal changes in our culture many cultures still treat women as second-class citizens with little or no say about their own lives. Even in our own country, we see how easily our laws can be changed by the men who are still running the government. The time has come for women, for you and me to connect with this new vibration of the feminine and to let it rise up in us all. To find out how read Part 2 of The New Feminine Rising.  The time has come to reclaim your authentic feminine power and with this comes a new vibration of how we use this power. Today, women are still taught to use their sexuality as a commodity. To sell it or their body for material security. We are still shown that a woman's value is based on her sexual appeal to men.
Yes, some changes have occurred over the past few decades but overall things haven't really changed that much. What is needed is a radical shift from this old, tired, male dominator paradigm. So how do you rise up into this new vibration of the feminine? Below are a few suggestions on how you can begin to align more with this new vibration.
I invite you to join me and a growing community of women in my monthly call by receiving my Living Goddess Guide, Redefining Your Erotic Sense of Self.  What is your essential feminine power? Where does it come from and how can you access it? What does it truly mean to be an empowered woman?
To feel empowered is to feel powerful from within. It truly describes the feminine way of power. Our essential feminine power comes from our core, our sexual center, and our yoni. For men, it resides in the hara or dantien, the solar plexus. You see the most potent force that women have is our shakti. Our primal life force, sexual creative energy. This force resides in all of us, but for women, it is what in many ways defines us. It is this primal energy from our sex center, the second chakra, (that point just above the pelvic bone) that enables us to create life, to be both wild and untamable as well as docile, harmonious, and calm. Our sexual energy is our true feminine power as it is here that the creation of life begins and the mystery of our body is held. Our sexual energy entices, allures, fascinates, radiates, and attracts both men and women. When a woman is fully embodying her sexual essence, she is her most empowered self. She walks with the grace of one who is confident, centered, serene, present, sensual, and fully in her body. She is not afraid of her sexual energy or of the power this energy has over other people. She understands her power and is able to use it wisely, with compassion and integrity. Since she no longer needs to manipulate or control her sexual energy or survive on it, she can be authentically herself, her fully embodied goddess. She is proud of her womanliness, her yoni her breasts her hips her belly, and all of her curves. She revels in her body and loves all of it no matter what shape it is. It is from this place that she creates and offers her gifts, and it is from this place that she partners with a man. A woman fully living in her feminine power is naturally radiant and receptive, yet strong from within herself. This woman lives in you and I invite you to discover her. So are you ready to awaken to your essential feminine power, and begin to live as the Living Goddess that you are? If you said yes then click this link and receive my Living Goddess Guide to Embodying Essential Feminine Power.  Have you ever wondered what it might feel like to live in a world where women are honored and respected? A world where girls can run freely to play and express themselves and where sex is something that is natural and considered sacred regardless of how you choose to express it. Where womena and girls feel safe in their bodies and empowered.
I have, many times, since my mission you might say is to help establish such a world or at least help to bring it forth. I have wondered what would it take to create this type of world and how we might go about it? Establishing a new paradigm is no easy task and it cannot be done by just wishing and hoping. What it takes is a definite concrete plan of some sort which includes new ideas and new ways of thinking and being. So before I speak about what you can do to help us create this new paradigm, I want to review where we are now in the culture that we are living in. For as we establish a new paradigm for women, men will change too. I want us to take a look at what women, you and I perhaps, have been told and accepted as the norm over the decades even when we knew it did not feel right.
Maybe you have felt some of these things or acted in some of these ways and not realized how dysfunctional it was and how easily you may have fallen into this type of behavior or had these sorts of feelings. Even if you see yourself as a fairly liberated woman, independent and self-sufficient you can not escape the climate and tenor of the environment of misogyny and sexual objectification. The only way to escape this is to create a new way of living, thinking and feeling about women and women's sexual power. If you, as I do, want to live in that world I briefly described above, then together we must take a stand for the things we do want and begin to take the action necessary to create that world.  What's your sexy, is a question that I like to ask women of all ages. I often wonder if living in the world that we do confuses women and girls as to what being a sexually empowered woman is all about. What if you could just stop for a moment and begin to ask yourself what does it mean for me to be truly sexually empowered? I wonder what your answer might be.
For some, it may mean how they express themselves in the bedroom and the different flavors of energy that you express in a particular way. For others, there might be a much broader definition. such as what turns you on at any given moment. So it could be writing a blog, or dancing or being in nature or anything that is using your creative energy. Sex, of course, is part of that but it is not exclusive to that. The New Standards of the Hook-up GenerationThe hook-up culture today has morphed into an "anything goes" culture. Sexual identification has become more blurred and so sexual preferences are not so rigid as they once were. The new standard for women in their twenties seems to be embracing the "zipless fuck" of the women's lib generation, sex just for the pleasure of it. Nothing else is required or needed. Just sex for the sake of getting off. Romantic relationships aren't as important as they once were, falling in love a bit passe. But is this a good thing? I have heard women say that since men have always been the ones to love'm and leave'm that now it is their time to do the same. The table has turned and more and more young women are embracing the idea that sex is no more than a physical relationship of mutual pleasure. If this is the new norm for our youth and for the millennials, I feel concerned that they will lose something very valuable...which is how to create and experience what it means to be an authentically powerful, sexually aware and savvy woman. A woman who embodies all of the qualities of her innate feminine qualities and her feminine sexual essence. This term was originally introduced to me by David Deida. I am adding to it and in some ways expanding his definition here. Your Feminine Sexual Essence is:
Being willing to explore your feminine sexual power, to learn how to understand it, how to use it with integrity, how to embody it with grace and how to begin to own what I call your Sexual Presence is what I am here to offer. Don't you think it is time to be the change that we are all seeking to see happen in our world? Rather than go back to the old standard of acting more like a man, to stand in your authentic feminine power and begin to establish a new way, a new paradigm for all women and girls to grow into? Receive a Free Gift of The Living Goddess Guide to your authentic Feminine Power and redefining your erotic sense of self. Blessings, Luminessa Enjara  What is feminine power? In the past few years, these two words have been used more than ever before. Every time I look at my emails I see one or more with these two words as the subject. Since 2011 when Venus crossed in front of the Sun, (a symbol of the feminine leading the masculine), women everywhere have begun to reconnect with their feminine power. Yet what do these words really mean? The 70's In the first wave of the women’s movement, during the 60’s and 70’s, feminine power was defined as ” woman power”. Women were just beginning to rise up and say look at us, look at what we can do better or as good as you, and don’t ever underestimate us again. Women were celebrating their sexuality, sexual freedom, and discovering their bodies and the Big O. We were taking our power back from patriarchal rules, speaking up and saying that being a powerful woman, feminine power, meant being strong, independent, self-sufficient, sovereign and sexually free. The 80's Then the 80’s rolled in and so did the “me” generation. Women were now actively pursuing careers or being a working mom, and trying to have it all. The definition of feminine power was redefined once again to being a sort of a superwoman who could juggle her career, family and also be a femme fatal in the bedroom. The music reflected this in songs like “I am Woman Hear me Roar,” whether single or married women thought that being powerful meant doing it all and playing like a man with the boys in the boardroom  The Goddess Movement Then in the mid-eighties, the Goddess movement was born often called the 2nd wave of the women’s movement. This was a very exciting time to live in and for me, it was as if I had been starving for 35 years and suddenly I began stuffing myself on a daily basis with everything and anything I could read about the Goddess. Feminine power was once again being redefined by women like Merlin Stone, When God Was a Woman and Starhawk in The Spiral Dance and Truth or Dare. Feminine power was now seen as “power from within”, and it was something that both women and men could cultivate their power from within themselves, rather than having power over others. The 90's When the 90’s hit suddenly women in media were being portrayed as stand-alone women who had magical powers. Women who could take care of themselves and did not need a man to fulfill them. These new images redefined what being a powerful woman meant to a new generation of girls who now saw women portrayed in a variety of ways. Feminine Power now included magical abilities and new street smarts and savvy. “From the angry mouths of all-girl underground hardcore punk band/zine makers, Bikini Kill in the early 1990s came the riot grrrl movement, which spawned numerous bands and a thriving DIY subculture including zine production and political activism. Feminine power was on the rise but now it was grounded in a rising consciousness stemming from attacks on legal abortion to Anita Hill’s revelatory accusations of sexual harassment, this movement had a message: songs from this era were socially conscious and dealt with rape, violence against women, patriarchy, sexuality, racism, and female empowerment.” (Daria Morgandoffer, Huffington Post)  The New Millennium
Then it was the 21st Century and we were in a new millennium, and a new era was ushered in bringing with it a new generation of girls and women. The definition of feminine power once again changed, but not for the benefit of women. What we saw and still see is almost a backlash of the last few decades mentioned in this article. The media which includes film, advertising and music are giving mixed messages about feminine power. The images most commonly seen portray women wearing very little, being tough and strong, sometimes mean and violent, sexy at all times ready to serve her man’s needs, using her sexuality to get what she wants, and being thin and pretty. Girls and women are more confused than ever before about what feminine power truly means. But all is not lost for there are organizations and groups of women and girls who are fighting back and taking a stand to change the current definition. Feminine power is once again being redefined but I think this time it will be more inclusive allowing us to broaden its meaning to not only include all three of the definition’s above, but it can also be defined as a woman who is strong, vulnerable, alluring, courageous, smart, confident, sovereign, loving, compassionate, comfortable in her own body, tough when needed, generous, kind and balanced with her own masculine and feminine qualities. This definition allows women to truly have it all…all within themselves first, and the rest well that will come to as an outgrowth of their inner strength and beauty. If you have thoughts on what feminine power means for you I would love to hear your comments. |
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